Relational Signals: How Presence Is Experienced
Most leaders don’t need to work less.
They need clearer ways to stay aligned while carrying a lot.
When relationships feel strained, it’s often not about time.
It’s about how presence is experienced.
Over time, I noticed a few relational signals that help clarify what’s needed—especially when time is limited. These show up in both work and home, though they’re expressed differently depending on context: Stability. Attention. Belonging. Affirmation.
Bring Stability
A steady, calming presence helps regulate emotion.
At work: patience, reassurance, grounded tone under pressure.
At home: warmth, closeness, gentle affection through touch and tone.
Give Attention
Give someone your eyes. Let them know they’re seen.
At work: focus in conversations with curiosity and intentional interest.
At home: setting devices aside, lingering longer than necessary, noticing them— you matter right now.
Invite Belonging
Draw people in, especially during struggle or failure.
Failure doesn’t define us—it helps us learn. Value exists outside performance.
At work: psychological safety with accountability, this is who we are and you’re apart of us.
At home: reassurance that love and connection aren’t withdrawn when things are hard.
Integrate Affirmation
Use words to name value, impact or appreciation.
At work: acknowledging contribution, effort or leadership.
At home: naming who someone is to you and why they matter.
The goal isn’t to offer all of these all the time.
It’s to notice which one is needed—and respond intentionally.
The Presence Check
A Simple Alignment Tool for Leaders: A practical tool to help you lead with intention—at work and at home—without adding more to your plate.
(< 10 minutes/week - Great journal prompts)
Alignment question:
Where was I present this week vs. Where was I only available?
1. Quick Scan (< 3 min)
Work · Home · Self
Where did I show up with intention?
Where did I respond without really being there?
2. Name One Moment (< 2 min)
A conversation, decision, return home, or meeting.
Label it honestly: present or available.
3. Choose One Adjustment (3 min)
Not more time—more clarity.
Offer steadiness.
Give your eyes.
Use words.
Name appreciation.
4. Anchor It (2 min)
Tie the adjustment to something already on your calendar.
Let this month remind you:
Presence compounds faster than perfection.
A Quarterly Reset (15 minutes)
At the end of each quarter, ask:
Where did I default to availability instead of presence?
Which relational signals come naturally—and which do I overlook?
Where do my values show up clearly in how I lead and relate?
Choose one relational focus for the next 90 days.